Well, after creating a blog many months ago, I am finally providing you, Oh Lovely Reader, with material that you may or may not actually care to read. At least it’s something, and now you have the opportunity to possibly consider turning down what I have in store for you. Whether I keep up with this for more than a month is uncertain, but I’ve had enough people tell me they want updates on my life from Russia, and they threatened to inform Border Patrol that I’m not fit to return to the country and should remain in Siberia until the end of time... Thus, enter Kyle’s World into the blogosphere. I hope you enjoy it.
To make a long story short, I’m going to introduce my adventure in rhyme, because Dr. Seuss knew how to make a story just long enough:
Back in the year twenty ten,
I was looking for good jobs, and then
Schlumberger Company offered me
A lifetime opportunity.
They said I would go to Angola,
And hopefully not get ebola.
I’d drill for oil offshore.
I’d learn Portuguese, dodge landmines, and more.
In July, it soon became clear,
Angola was no longer near.
The visa laws had changed for the worse.
I felt like I’d been left in the dirt.
So I waited patiently for the word
That my pleas for a great job had been heard.
It took until August to say
That I’d be going to Russia someday.
A week ago my Visa was approved
It’s surprising how fast I’ve now moved.
My journey was rapidly booked.
New emails for me every time I looked.
And here I am. Look, a plane! Yes, this is the obligatory airport/travel portion of my blog.
I was really proud of myself, managing to fit my next 3 years’ worth of clothing into a large duffle bag and my backpacking pack, as pictured.
The majority of my packing was finished, so I drowned my excitement in free booze, courtesy of trivia (Booze Clues) at Pengilly’s Saloon in Boise (free drinks for correct answers). Some friends came along, and it wasn’t until most of them left that I remembered I brought my camera. So I got pictures with just a couple remaining folks.
Much to my chagrin, we lost the trivia game by one question. I had hoped to go out with a bang, but luckily I was too excited to be starting my next great adventure that I just said, “Screw it! I’m leaving! Mwahahahaha!!!” Pengilly’s denizens will deny that I did an evil laugh, but that’s because I had put a curse on all of them upon my departure. It’s like the Bambino curse when Babe Ruth left the Red Sox. Pengilly’s will never be the same…
My first flight went off without a hitch, United from BOI to LAX. Of course, they drop me in Terminal 8, which is as far as can be from my gate in the Bradley International Terminal. And leave it to LAX to be the only airport I can recall that lacks moving sidewalks in the lengthy corridors between terminals. I naively thought I could navigate the length of the airport within the confines of security, but no. Once one leaves the confines of the United Terminals, one must leave security and re-enter at the next terminal.
After a pleasant walk outside in sunny (and not so smoggy) Los Angeles, I arrived at the far superior experience known as the International Terminal—one of those “crossroads of the world” experiences usually reserved for locales that are nowhere near Los Angeles. After finding the Aeroflot Check-In desks and dazzling the airline employee with my soon-to-be-a-baller-Russian-but-still-speaking-like-an-eager-American-ness, I grabbed some lunch at the world’s hub of authentic East-Asian cuisine: Panda Express. The orange chicken was tasty as always, and I kind of liked my fortune. Here’s a picture of it.
Of course, the last thing I need right now—while trying to rock my job and become an employee worthy of being flown halfway around the world—is to be seeking love. But hey, at least now I know I don’t have to worry about never finding it, because the fortune said so. It came from Panda, so it must be true!
My gate is at the far northern end of the Bradley Terminal, among a chunk of gates that are just doors out to buses that will take us to the plane. It seems that, until current construction on the extraordinarily spacious Bradley West expansion ends, people will still have to be bused to some of the flights. I guess when you’re a terminal that’s basically only serving wide-bodied and jumbo aircraft, as the West’s gateway to the Pacific, it’s just hard to fit them all side-by-side. Our bus took us nearly a runway’s length away to the far west end of the LAX property and I discovered that they have what I will call "jetway islands:" small buildings with an entrance, a two-story ramp, and a jetway, whose sole purpose is get people from the ground to the plane without stairs. Maybe they’re actually pretty common, but I don’t recall ever using one. Not as cool as the Dulles Airport “plane mates” but still worthy of note.
Welcome to Aeroflot, Russian Airlines, I tell myself as I board the A330 and think that I must’ve stepped into a University of Texas fan plane. All the seats are this really ugly burnt orange color similar to that of UT. I find it strange because the airline’s (and nation’s flag’s) colors are red, white, and blue. Like the Dutch, whose flag is also red, white, and blue but all their national pride is orange-colored, I guess there’s just something about the color orange. Or they could just be reusing old seats from older aircraft, and they actually used to be red but have faded considerably. I hope it’s the former.
The flight is scheduled to be nearly 12 hours. We managed to depart a half-hour late, because (I conjecture) there is no boarding zone methodology to help expedite the tedious enplaning process, not to mention many of the Russians had gone all Black Friday discount shopper on Duty Free store items that they couldn’t figure out how to stow. I had also wrongly guessed that the other reason for the plane being way out in its current tarmac location was that it would be closer to the end of one of the northern runways for a nice west-to-east takeoff, saving time and energy on taxiing. We proceeded to head south and taxi the entire length of the airport only to take off westward from one of the south runways. Silly runway and takeoff protocol… just a tad bit inefficient methinks. What’s really cool as that they have a nose-cone camera that default broadcasts to all the passenger TV monitors, so we could watch a bird's-eye-view of the takeoff.
My favorite thing about Aeroflot is probably a tossup between the fine cuisine and the cup holders (pictured below). Why bring down your entire tray table if you just want to have a drink? It’s genius, I tell ya! Pure genius!
I also cannot recall having a pair of economy class airplane meals as good as what Aeroflot served for dinner and “brunch.” At least not in the post-9/11 airline climate. Shrimp and smoked salmon, shrimp tortellini, beef stew, salad, and the most significant (and pretty) airline desserts I’ve ever seen. Yummy. I tried to be a good kid and order water, but the flight attendant kept suggesting wine. What’s a poor boy to do?
Interestingly, the great circle route between LA and Moscow spends a significant portion of time flying over Idaho. I giggled to myself to see Moscow, Idaho show up on the inflight route map while en route to Moscow. I wondered if anyone else noticed.
I had a window seat. Therefore, I took some inflight pictures and I also didn’t go to the bathroom for the whole flight. Yes, I held it for twelve hours. It’s just something I do when I have a window seat. Plus the lady next to me was trying to sleep for most of the flight, and I was also pretty dehydrated anyway.
And here are some pictures. I had stowed my camera for the descent and didn’t get any pictures of Moscow, which looked pretty cool from the air.
Sunrise over the Norwegian Sea
Sweden and the Baltic Sea, having officially gone further east than I ever have before
I really don’t know what I expected Moscow to look like from the air. There were, of course, the countless blocks of high-rise apartments. But there were also some very nice-looking residential neighborhoods. The leaves were changing on the trees and the winding Moscow River looked clean and blue. A nuclear power plant billowed steam and those very European red and white striped smoke stacks were spewing. I wondered how much of the day’s cloudiness was due to industrial output. I could also see the spindly Ostankino tower, the tallest building in Russia.
When we landed at Sheremetyevo Airport, a significant portion of the passengers applauded. I learned that this was and sometimes still is quite customary on a lot of East European airlines or after significantly turbulent flights. It harkens back to the days of communist rule and discount or dated aircraft, when a smooth trip was rarely the norm.
I had now touched down in the country I will be calling home for the next three years.
Here goes something…
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